I'm a hoarder

People often say admitting something is the hardest step, and that may be true in many cases but not in mine. I'm a hoarder, I may not be the worst hoarder out there and by some people's standards I may not even look like I have a problem, but people who are closest to me know that I do, more importantly I know that I do. I'm tired of the constant tidying up, jamming things into (what seems like) smaller and smaller spaces, re-organising for better efficiency and most of all packing and unpacking all of these things every time I move. The thing I'm most fed up with is the stress! The clutter stresses me out, and I would be kidding myself if I said it didn't stress others around me out as well.

Within my extended family hoardings become a joke. It's funny when we're referring to others and their hoarding quirks, but the day to day reality of living with it is frustrating. When the house is a state, I feel anger boiling up inside me, which usually comes to a crest with tears welling up in my eyes followed by actually having to leave to get fresh air or by a short burst of frantic cleaning followed by a state of exhaustion. Even when the house is clean, and everything is in order, I feel a little smothered.  It's especially hard when I move; it feels like it takes a good year before I have found the appropriate spot for everything or to find a piece that goes with another piece of something that I can't do anything with until the two or three or four pieces are reunited.

When I simplify it as much as possible, this is what I want;

1. I want everyone to feel relaxed at home
2. I want to be surrounded by only things I love to look at, love to use or need.
3. I want to maintain a clean space
4. and I want to accomplish this as soon as possible

I'm writing this blog in hopes that it will help to motivate me and hold me accountable if I quite. My goal is to give myself 30 days to clean house and have a fresh start. If I don't, do it now while I have the time I never will.